I am angry and want to kill you

Today was my first day squatting with the new bar position. It wasn't easy and I'm incredibly angry right now. But in all honesty it didn't go nearly as badly as it could have.

Started with a heavy single. In my warmups, made sure to set the bar in a nice spot, keep my torso much more upright, and hit a good depth. Worked up to 275 for a couple singles, which weren't easy but weren't too hard, then jumped to 315 with the belt. Hit it solidly, but not even close to easily. Decided to move up, and hit 325 a little better. Then, hit 335 for a very slow single that was definitely a max. My form was nice and it was good and deep though. So, considering I made a pretty big change to form, being able to hit within 10 lbs of my pr isn't too bad.

The triples is where I started getting really angry though. Granted, I was tired by this time, AND this is at the end of 12 weeks of lifting so it could just be a rough day anyways, but I started to feel that although I was able to squat up close to my max with this new style, doing rep stuff is going to be hard. I hit 135 for 5, then 3, then 225 x 3, 255 x 3, and 285 x 3. Then I went to 315. I knew I might miss rep 3, but figured I could at least get 1 or 2 quality reps. But I failed on the first rep, and was incredibly angry. This is a weight I shouldn't be missing for a single, ever, and that I have tripled more than once and hit for 5. It's incredibly frustrating to feel like I can't handle a weight that should be easy for me.

BUT - and here's the reasonable me talking - It's my first day switching my style. I will adjust quickly, and that will help, AND I have to keep in mind that it could have been a bad day anyways. If I am patient, try to keep my anger down and just stick with the new style, I will be manhandling those weights again in no time, and it will be BETTER for progress in the long run. I just have to be patient and keep working.

However, the unreasonable me is just livid about missing that 315. I tried doing some good mornings, but I was too angry. So I decided for my sanity to just call it a day. It's time to go on vacation, recover mentally and physically, and deal with this when I get back. Plus, I have saturday to squat, so I'd rather save my legs a little for that.

For now, I'm going to go watch a violent movie and eat food. FUCK THE WORLD.