Andy Whitfield

For anyone who doesn't know, Andy Whitfield was a young, fit, rising star in TV and movies - he played Spartacus in the first season of "Spartacus: Blood and Sand." During the filming of the show, he was diagnosed with Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma, and despite attempts to fight it, he died in september of 2011.

I'm not sure why, but for some reason I feel affected by Andy Whitfield's death. I obviously never knew him personally, but there's just something about it that makes me feel genuinely sad. He was a celebrity, but he didn't die of drug abuse like so many. He had a family. He was young, wealthy, in shape. And There was just something about him that was relatable to me. When I watched him on screen, I felt like i could know him. His emotions seemed so real. It's not that his death makes me afraid - although it's certainly a reminder that no matter how young, rich, fit, or famous you are you never know what might happen. It just feels wrong somehow. Like he was just a good man, and it's incorrect for him to all of a sudden die.

Today, I found a quote. These are the last words Andy Whitfield ever said to his two children of 4 and 6:

"I'm going to sleep now. My body won't work anymore. I am like a butterfly with broken wings" 

I don't know what reading this will make any of you feel. I don't even know exactly what it makes me feel. But I think that, somewhere in this one person's life and death, there is something I can connect to, to learn from, and to use as fuel during my life - for training and otherwise.

So whatever you feel, take it, hold on to it, and use it. I don't care what for. Personally, when I'm in the gym after this trip I'm going to remember the way this man's death has made me feel, and I'm going to use that to drive forward. Emotions are hard to explain, hard to deal with. But that's not a reason not to feel them. Andy's story makes me feel something that I can't explain. It makes me sad, but it's something more than that. But I'm not going to question it. Instead, I'm going to seize it, harness it, and use that emotion. What better way to honor someone in death, than by living your life with even more passion, intensity, love, or drive because of them?

So whatever you feel - whether it's because of this story, or some other inspiration, or events from your life - whatever emotions are there, don't ignore them. Maybe don't even question them. Feel them deeply, because that's a big part of what life is about. Then, take that emotion, and turn it into something powerful, something real. Turn it into action. What action is up to you. But don't waste your life. Use it. Do something that matters in some way. And remember that the world doesn't always make sense. So just do something - anything - with what you have, whatever it may be.

That's all you can do.