Final work capacity day: bench 225 x sets

Today was a pretty good day. Final day of my "destruction" 2 weeks, where my focus was (supposed to be) entirely upon working my ass off and building work capacity. Went well.

Recent back picture. Weight - about 235-240

Started with bench. Got warm, then started warming up. Hit 95 x 10, 135 x 7, 185 x 4. Honestly, I think I could have used a little more of a warmup - 15, 10, and 5 seems appropriate in the future. Anyways, went to 225 and went at it. I really could not get tight on the bench today without my chalk, but still managed a fairly good session despite some serious trouble keeping form ideal. The goal was 5 sets of 4, with the understanding that sets of 3 were probably far more likely. Ended up hitting 4, 4, 3 where I failed a 4th rep (barely), 3, then a set f 2 where I accidentally hit the hook which hurt me, and a final paused single, Overall, not bad! Not exactly what I wanted, but still the most volume I have ever done at 225. Despite tightness being a huge issue, the technique of really controlling the weight, squeezing it down and up, felt great, and I definitely fought my way through a couple reps I probably wouldn't have ever made in the past.

Next up, did seated dumbell rows on an incline bench - 4 sets of 25 with maybe 15-20 lb dumbells. Blew my back/rear delts up.

Then, came inside and did a ton of pushups. Did 3 sets of regular pushups, moving my hands from narrow to medium to wide. Then, did 2 sets of inclined pushups, also moving my hands but focusing on wide.

Finally, some quick arms/grip work. Grabbed 15 lb dumbells and just went to town for about 2-3 minutes.

So, overall it was a good workout. Here's the thing: I have been falling short of what I want to hit these past few days. Furthermore, I have this overwhelming feeling like I should be working harder, focusing more, doing better. But I think these are both fine. The point of these two weeks was to work hard and kick my own ass, not to hit any specific goals/numbers, And, conditions this week were SO completely different from my normal lifting that it is fairly absurd to be comparing what I hit this week to what I "should" be hitting. The truth is, I got a lot of quality work in and definitely upped my work capacity. Now, I need to channel the anger I have and that disgruntled, aimless demeanor because it is time to focus up and start this 5-week peaking cycle. Next week, I will have everything back to normal - equipment, my personal gear, training time, specific numbers I need to hit, etc etc. It will be time to focus up, to have concrete goals, and to focus on smashing each one, every single workout. Then, I can truly judge my performance, vs. how I think I SHOULD be performing. And, the thing is - my goals are set so high that even if I do fall short (the way I felt I was falling short this week), I am STILL hitting pr's and getting stronger - just not as fast as I think I should be. I am in a really good place now. It's time to focus, to work hard, and to get stronger. Lets keep at it.