The Agony and Goodbye

Today I didn't have a scheduled workout... but it was my last chance to squat before vacation! Couldn't pass that up. So with the help of Joshua, we birthed a squat hell unlike any other.

Started with a max attempt. I played with moving my stance in a little today, and it feels awesome. It's more technical than my old way of squatting, and easy to hit bad reps. But on good reps, My torso is upright, I hit the bottom DEEP and get a great stretch reflex. hit 135, 225, then 275, 305, and 315. 315 was tough, and my form was a little iffy (missed the stretch reflex), so I called that my first "max."Phase one complete.

Phase two: dropped back to 135 and worked up again. Hit 135, 225, 255, then 285. Jumped straight to 315, but I lost it forward a bit and failed. Phase 2 complete

Phase 3: dropped back to 135 and worked up AGAIN. Hit 135, 185, 225, 275, then 305. Then I attempted 315 and got completely stuck in the bottom, had to dump. Phase 3 complete - 3 maxes, one after the other.

Next, I took 90% of my final max (305) and did a 3 x 3 with that. 275 for 3 x 3 was solid, but tough. With the new squat style, it's easy to lose my balance a little forward. But if I am careful to fight to keep my chest up, and I really think about spreading the floor and engaging my hips, they feel really good and athletic. This 3 x 3 was probably the toughest part of today.

Next, I took 90% of 275, (250) and did a 3 x 5 with that. I expected this to be harder than it was. At this weight, my technique was really solid, and although I had bad reps, for the most part I was nailing the stretch reflex out of the hole and didn't have any serious trouble with any rep.

Finally, took 90% of the 3 x 5 weight (225) and did a 3 x 8 with that. Again, I expected this to be miserable, but my technique felt awesome at these lighter weights, and despite bad reps I was able to get through these sets. The 8th rep of set two was soul-crushingly hard, but set 3 I went all out, getting 12 reps. It was an absurd workout. The skin on my back is destroyed from the bar, and I'm thinking my legs are going to be killing me tomorrow. But hey, now I get a full week off. I'll live.

So, I got to feel out this new style a lot, and I think it will be really great for me in time. I need to get used to the different movement. I need to make sure I nail that stretch reflex every time, And I need to increase my quad strength and my core strength in order to be able to handle bigger weights with ease. In time though, I will become much stronger with this new squat.

So here's the plan: I will max out with this new style when I get home, and whatever that max is, I will re-set my 5/3/1 with that max (take 90% of it, treat that as my working 1-rep, and go from there). This will give me time to adjust to the new style without feeling pressured to be as strong as I was with my old technique right away. It will give me a mental break, and time for my quads and core to grow so I can massacre weights that are tough now. I can't wait.

Goodbye for a week. When I return: some light days to get me moving weight again, then MAX OUT WEEK.

The end is the beginning is the end.

It's over. For a short while.

Today was a sick day. I'm tired and beat up, but I managed to have a solid workout today. And now it's time for rest and recovery, finally.

Started with benching. I worked up the way I'm planning to work up to my max bench two thursdays from now - warmed up with 95, 135, 155, 175, hit 195 for a single, then jumped up to 210. I took my time between sets, but I managed to get all 9 singles, which is pretty fucking awesome! All the reps were solid and smooth - not fast, but very nice. Hopefully with some rest, I'll be able to nail 215 when I get back, and maybe even try another single after that. But I know from personal experience that time off normally hurts my bench a lot. We will see. Either way, 9 x 1 at 210 is a sick accomplishment.

Next was overhead press, which also went really well. I hit 115 x 5, 130 x 3, and then 145 x 4 pretty easy (I even tried for rep 5, but to no avail). That's awesome - it ties my pr at that weight, and that 4th rep was much easier than the last time I hit 4 at 145. Then I dropped back andhit 130 x 5 from a dead stop, and 115 x 9 from a dead stop.

Next, I maxed out my pullups - did a quick set of 2, then went for it. I managed to pull 8 from a completely dead hang, then hit a 9th rep with just the tiniest amount of hips to get my chin all the way over. This is pretty fucking awesome too - most pullups I think I have ever gotten in my life is 6 or 7. My lats are definitely growing stronger and larger.

Next, did some pushups, on the 30 seconds, keeping form nice. Got 5 sets of 10 and decided to call it there.

Finally, I couldn't bring myself to pull anything heavy, so I just did 3 sets to failure of band pull aparts. I definitely got a bit of a back pump, no matter how stupid these are hahaha.

SOOO: This is the end of 6 months or so of hard, hard lifting, And I have made some awesome accomplishments. Lets do a quick recap of some stuff that has changed over the course of these last few months, what I have learned, etc:

1) I weighed myself today, for the first time in forever. When I started this program, I weighed around 205 pretty consistently. By the time I left school (about 3 months ago) I was down to about 195 in the mornings. And this morning when I woke up, I weighed 185. As far as muscle size goes, I don't think I lost any muscle, but I am FAR leaner - this morning especially, there was NO way I was over 12% body fat. This is a huge improvement from the start of this program, when I was between 16 and 18% bodyfat. AND I'm stronger. so, 20 lbs of fat lighter and stronger - that's pretty awesome. The take away: My diet is working. Keto, with a cheat day and a cheat meal once a weak, has helped me immensely. I'm going to keep at this, and hopefully by the end of my next cycle (december), I will be below 10%. I DO want to gain some muscle as well, so I'm gonna have to EAT EAT EAT on those cheat days. But for now, I'm very happy with my appearance and body comp. I'll re-asses again in december.

2) work capacity has definitely improved a ton. I can do sets of 10 squats and bench with no real problem. I haven't added in much running/rowing/conditioning consistently, but when I do do it, it's not NEARLY as bad as when I started this program. AND, when I do it (in moderation), it normally makes my next lifting session BETTER, not worse. The take away - keep some light conditioning in AT LEAST once a week, to keep my work capacity up, and it will help my lifting immensely.

3) Most importantly, my strength has improved a ton on this program. Obviously, I haven't maxed out all my lifts yet, so my gains could be even BETTER than I think - but even in those maxes are a flop, I still have made tremendous progress. Obviously, my squat is the most impressive - at the start of this program, My heaviest squat ever was 275, and my first rep out (215) was for 8 reps. My best squat ever now is 345, and my best rep out to day is 300 x 8. Awesome gains there. Even with my recent form changes which are pissing me off, I'm much stronger than I was 6 months ago. My bench was 205 (if I was lucky) 6 months ago, and today I crushed 210 for 9 singles - not huge gains, but solid improvement, which is great considering the full YEAR i was stuck at 205. My overhead press is far better - 145 was my 1 rep 6 months ago, and today I hit that for 4 after benching. And my deadlift was 335 back then - My max now is 375, and I have a feeling I may crush that when I max out.

So, bottom line: I'm far stronger, leaner, lighter, and more conditioned than 6 months ago. Improvement across the board.

This next cycle is going to change some things, but hopefully I will still be able to progress pretty much all over - I want to put on some muscle, try to get my bodyfat a little lower, work on my conditioning, and most importantly KEEP GETTING STRONGER. This was a great 6 months - lets hope I can keep the progress up.

I am angry and want to kill you

Today was my first day squatting with the new bar position. It wasn't easy and I'm incredibly angry right now. But in all honesty it didn't go nearly as badly as it could have.

Started with a heavy single. In my warmups, made sure to set the bar in a nice spot, keep my torso much more upright, and hit a good depth. Worked up to 275 for a couple singles, which weren't easy but weren't too hard, then jumped to 315 with the belt. Hit it solidly, but not even close to easily. Decided to move up, and hit 325 a little better. Then, hit 335 for a very slow single that was definitely a max. My form was nice and it was good and deep though. So, considering I made a pretty big change to form, being able to hit within 10 lbs of my pr isn't too bad.

The triples is where I started getting really angry though. Granted, I was tired by this time, AND this is at the end of 12 weeks of lifting so it could just be a rough day anyways, but I started to feel that although I was able to squat up close to my max with this new style, doing rep stuff is going to be hard. I hit 135 for 5, then 3, then 225 x 3, 255 x 3, and 285 x 3. Then I went to 315. I knew I might miss rep 3, but figured I could at least get 1 or 2 quality reps. But I failed on the first rep, and was incredibly angry. This is a weight I shouldn't be missing for a single, ever, and that I have tripled more than once and hit for 5. It's incredibly frustrating to feel like I can't handle a weight that should be easy for me.

BUT - and here's the reasonable me talking - It's my first day switching my style. I will adjust quickly, and that will help, AND I have to keep in mind that it could have been a bad day anyways. If I am patient, try to keep my anger down and just stick with the new style, I will be manhandling those weights again in no time, and it will be BETTER for progress in the long run. I just have to be patient and keep working.

However, the unreasonable me is just livid about missing that 315. I tried doing some good mornings, but I was too angry. So I decided for my sanity to just call it a day. It's time to go on vacation, recover mentally and physically, and deal with this when I get back. Plus, I have saturday to squat, so I'd rather save my legs a little for that.

For now, I'm going to go watch a violent movie and eat food. FUCK THE WORLD.

Handling the Truth

So today I went in and spent a lot of time stretching and working on getting to a nice depth in my squat.    I think a large part of the problem is simply 1) my hips are tight and I need to devote more time to stretching, which I will be able to do in my new programming, and 2) I just need to go deeper than I FEEL like I have to, because what I feel is deep enough just isn't.

BUT I think the MAJOR problem is something that I've been ignoring for a while, and that is how low I keep the bar on my back. Because my shoulders are crazy flexible, no matter how close I move my hands I can still jam the bar WAY low on my back. I feel comfortable with the bar here, and despite efforts to change this, when the weight gets heavy and I get nervous, I resort to that lowww bar position. Problem is, it's so low on my back that I have to sit really far back and my chest has to come way forward, which makes it harder and harder to hit depth.

This is what I want to squat like. Then again, who fucking doesn't

This is the truth, and it's a problem. First of all, my bar is so low I'm not even sure it's legal in a meet. Second of all, I just don't want my squat to be an extremely low bar, barely-to-depth squat. Instead, I want a nice athletic squat - moderate width stance, torso strong and upright, and nice and deep. Doing what I'm doing now feels more comfortable and stronger, but in the long run moving my bar position up and doing a squat with my chest more upright and good depth is going to make me stronger and more athletic. THAT is the way I want to squat, and the longer I ignore the fact that i'm doing it wrong, the harder it is gonna be to fix. AS IS, hopefully I can change without a significant hit to my strength, and by focusing on it in my new cycle, I can continue to make huge strength gains with better form.

SO tomorrow, I'm gonna squat to a max with the bar in a better position and see how heavy I can get. Hopefully, it will be close to my current max (who knows, maybe I'll even pr). But even if I have a tough time, I just need to not worry too much about it, know that NOW is the time to make the change, and that a small hit to my max squat in the short term is going to equal better gains in the long term.

This is where I keep the bar currently I feel. Very low, it rolls on my back, and my chest goes way forward. 

Here's where I need to be, and where I will squat from tomorrow. Bar below traps, but sitting on the shoulders, rather than jammed halfway down my fucking back. 

We will see what happens tomorrow. Lets hope for the best.

Rebirth

Today was a good day. This week has been a time of rising from the ashes.

Started with 5/3/1 bench. Worked up, hit 165 x 5, 185 x 3, then 210 for an easy 1, fast and beautiful. Went for a second rep but couldn't quite get it. 210 is my old pr though, and I crushed it, much easier than the last time I hit that weight, so that is good.

Next was 5 x 10 bench. Loaded up 155, took my time between sets, and made it through all 5 sets of 10 without a single failed rep.

Next were kroc rows, did one set of 30 each side with the 90 lb dumbell + a big ass chain.

Next, I hit overhead press. Worked up to 135, and hit it for 7 paused reps. This is a new PR at that weight (which is kind of funny, considering 6 was a new pr on friday). Plus they were paused reps - just goes to show that my 5/3/1 press work on fridays isn't really letting me express my press strength. No worries though. I'm getting stronger, that is what matters. I then dropped back, hitting 7 reps at 125, and then 10 reps at 115, al paused.

Finally, did a 5 x 5 of pullups, dead hang, with the straps.

Although I would have loved more than 1 rep at 210, crushing my old PR is satisfactory, and pretty much ALL the other work I did today was awesome. I survived last week and I'm stronger because of it. Gonna go enjoy my 3 hour cheat, heal up, and enjoy my rest/arms day tomorrow. 2 more workouts.  Then the healing. Then the FEATS OF STRENGTH. Then the true rebirth.

Also... BANE BACK

You are more than what you have become

Part of the journey ended today.

Started with 5/3/1 squats. Form felt pretty good, I was nervous but excited. did 135 for 8, 205 x 5, then 245 x 5, and 275 x 3. took my stance out a little wider today, as I have noticed myself moving it in little by little, and wide felt solid. Loaded up 315 and hit it for 5. First 3 were solid. 4 was a little sloppy and HARD to lock out. 5 was a good rep, and then I attempted 6 but couldn't quite get it. I videotaped the set, and depth was decent - pretty much all the reps were to almost exactly parallel. a couple might have been a touch high, but if so only barely. This is a pretty good accomplishment. At the start of this program, I had in my head that If i could somehow get 315 x 5 at the end, that would really be awesome. And today I did that. It's something to be proud of.

Next were speed deads. from about 3 -3.5 inch deficit, I pulled 265 for 8 sets of 2 on the minute. These felt good - I definitely got tired by the end, but they were moving pretty fast, which is great at that weight and from that deficit. I'm excited to switch these to singles in my next program, however.

Next was 5 x 10 squat at 205. This wasn't very hard. My biggest issue is becoming depth - I simply have trouble feeling how low is low enough. I don;t think I'm even weak out of the hole at all, I just don't know where is deep enough. I videotaped this last set, and even though I felt deep on all of them, they were all just to parallel, with a few of them a bit high. And the final rep I paused, in what FELT like a rock-bottom position - and really, that "rock bottom" was pretty much where I want ALL of my reps to be. BUT, I have to remember how beat up I am, and that a 5 x 10 really is not ideal to work on form. In my next program, I will be doing a 5 x 5, and I'm going to REALLY focus on perfect form and going DEEEEEEEEEEEP, to keep depth from becoming a problem again.

Finally, 3 sets of hollow rocks to failure.

SO, I have reached some awesome goals. I need to be careful about depth, but other than that my form is great and I've never even been CLOSE to this strong. I can't wait to rest up, change up my programming, and start fresh again.

Dying

I'm dying. It's not even slow dying anymore.

Went in today. Warmed up, ran a little, and decided to work up to 315 in a bunchhhh of sets. hit 95 for 10 and then 5, 135 for 2 x 5, 185 for 2 x 4, 225 for 2 x 3, 275 for 2 x 2, and then missed 315 x 1. That's the first time I've missed 315 in about 2 months. AND, I just hit 335 for a single and 315 x 3 on thursday. Conclusion: I'm dying. My body needs a rest.

It's okay though. I just need to survive. Just a few more workouts, one week. No injury. Performance doesn't matter, just get through the workouts and work as hard as I can.

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage rage against the dying of the light